My Name is Mark Nizer and I am Married to Scott !
Scott and I met about 28 years ago. We were both performing in a show in Miami Beach. Scott was a dancer in the show, I was performing as a comedian and juggler. At first, we were just friends and would even double date. But after a while my girl friend and I drifted apart and Scott and our friendship grew into something more. Scott made me laugh more than I thought possible and was the first person I felt I could be myself around. Another dancer in the show had a crush on me, and soon Scott, Craig, and I became an inseparable trio.
When friends and family first heard that I was dating "Scott ", I started to get a clue that I was being judged. My twin sister was shocked but was able to "except" whomever I loved.
Scott and I fell in love and with a little help from the yellow pages we were able to find a minister willing to marry us. We had a great wedding in a quaint church in Upper Marlboro Maryland and we celebrated our love and beginning of a long life together.
Pretty soon however, I realized marrying Scott had some unexpected consequences. Our answering machine message, "Mark and Scott aren't here right now, please leave a message and we'll return your call as soon as possible", would result in odd, long awkward pauses and vague "hope you guys are doing well messages".
When I would talk about something Scott and I did the previous weekend in public, people eavesdropping on our conversation would give me weird looks and eye rolling calisthenics.
I knew I had possibly gone too far, when Scott was away working in a show in Monte Carlo for a couple months and I was alone in our New York studio apartment and missing my partner. I went to the beach and put sun block all over my body, accept for a heart shape with the word SCOTT in the center. A few hours later I awoke and had seared to a point of bleeding, the word Scott in a heart, on my chest in brilliant red. Suddenly, I felt the eyes of the entire gym on me when I was on the shirtless team of a pick up basketball game.
In my show, I often get a volunteer and ask their name. The other day, I had a man who's name was Scott. I said, "that is so weird that's my wife's name". The audience roared with laughter. Why is that funny?
How long will it be before we don't judge someone based on the name of their partner. When will I not get a laugh in my show when I say "Scott...that's my wife's name"?
Well, Scott and I are still together. We have three daughters. Scott was named "Mary Scott" at birth but her mother's name was Mary, so she has always gone by Scott. Whenever she is introduced she has to say her name twice, as the human brain can't seem to put the name Scott to a women's face.
I have watched with great interest as our society finally catches up to the promises of the constitution and its guarantee that everyone, no matter who they are or who they love, will be treated equally. It has always seemed crazy to me that it should matter who someone marries.
To quote Chris Rock on his pro gay marriage stance, "Gay people have a right to be as miserable as everybody else!"
Not, that Scott and I are not miserable, but we like Les Miserables.
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