Cal Poly By Christopher Gardner
March 15, 2011
Mark Nizer has spent a lifetime catching things; things like
machetes, torches, lasers and ping pong balls. He also has spent that
same lifetime throwing those same objects. Nizer is a pathological juggler and there is no support group for him. He came to an early understanding that since there was no
help available he might as well embrace his
mania. This journey has led him around
the globe and enabled him to perform for
thousands of people. He is part juggler,
part comedian and 100% visually amazing.
He has raised the art form of juggling to
new heights and will dazzle his audiences
with feats of incredible dexterity. Below is
a question and answer interview with the
man who catches things
So what does a world famous juggler have left to prove?
I am trying prove that I am good as I was the show before. It takes a little longer to warm up than it did when I was 15 but I have the subtlety and grace that age brings.
Any political aspirations?
Yes I want to be the next Gravity Czar. I plan on reducing gravity to half it's current rate by 2015.
Hey, are you good with juggling busy schedules? Maybe you could be a time management guru and create a bunch of cd’s to hawk.
It's DVD's these days Grandpa. I have expanded the Nizer™ brand to many markets and sell a line of adult diapers, squeegees and hot pockets.
Did you juggle on your first date with your wife?
We met in a show. She was singing and dancing in the show. I was the ONLY "available" male in the cast, so juggler didn't seem so bad.
How do you tour? Do you have a rock star bus?
I travel by camel drawn rickshaw. If that is not available which is rare I fly.
I know that you are married but are there juggler groupies?
I have many groupies. Most of 15 year old teenagers that are too cool to come up and talk to me. But I can tell by the look in theirs eyes that they think I am AWESOME!!!!
Reading over your bio you have sustained injuries over the years how long can you continue?
The head injuries and amputations I have received had actually made my job easier. I forget why I am in pain and I weigh less.
Is there an old jugglers home?
That is calles the IRS.
Are jugglers a close community? Do you get together and tell horror stories?
Juggling and jugglers have become my family. We are a very close group and I can travel the world and find people to share my passion and interest in juggling.
Do you have to perform at every single party you attend? How about your own kid’s party?
NEVER. I tell people I am a psychiatrist. They just don't get the job title. You say comedy juggler, they hear birthday clown.
Ever juggle while drunk?
I don't remember.
Is there a “Holy Grail” of Juggling? Like a move that no one has ever performed but wants to?
That trick is called "the impossible trick". I do it in my show.
The trick sounds impossible. As a spinning ball balances on his right index finger, the juggler balances another ball on his forehead, then rolls it to the back of his neck and down his back. When the ball reaches his heel, he kicks the ball, which, if the trick is done correctly, will land on the spinning ball on his index finger.
Ever have to take a field sobriety test and pull out the bowling pins?
There is a great story about being pulled over by the police here.
What celebrity would you like to meet?
Darwin or Einstein. Or Lady Gaga's sister.
What was your worst gig ever? Anything like the air force base in Spinal Tap?
Worse...a gig in a parking lot in Florida. 12pm no shade. Stage was a steeper angle than the arch enemies hide out on Batman™.
Can you text message while driving because you are a professional?
Not only text, but also floss, eat, email, watch movies and tattoo my self...ALL AT THE SAME TIME
What do you do poorly?
Site quietly and behave.
What do you have in your pocket right now?
Nothing. I don't like anything in my pockets.
Nizer cup? Is that like a baseball cup?
I am wearing it right now.